a newfi storie

Newfie Logger:

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A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets
to Campbell River, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he
must find a job. He walks into the Weyerhaeuser office and fills out an application as
an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone.
But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride in the bush in the company pickup
truck to see how much he knows.

The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and points at a tree. "See that
tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is and how many board feet of
lumber it contains."

The Newfie promptly answers, "It's a citrus spruce containing 383 board feet of lumber."

The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again about a mile
down the road. He points at another tree through the passenger door window and asks
the same question. This time, it's a bigger tree of a different class.

"It's a Douglas fir and has 690 board feet." says the Newfie.

Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has answered quickly and got the
answers right without even using a calculator! One more test. They drive a little farther
down the road, and the foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road
through his driver side window. "And what about that one?"

Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, "A cedar, 242 board feet."

The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office. He's a little cheesed
off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he. As they near the office, the
foreman stops the truck and asks the Newfie to step outside.

He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him, "See that tree over there. I want you to
mark an X on the front of that tree." The foreman thinks to himself, "Idiot! How does
he know which is the front of the tree?"

When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while looking at the
ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the trunk. He runs back to the
foreman and hands him the chalk.

"That is the front of the tree," the Newfie states, cocksure.

The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, "How in the hell do you know
that's the front of the tree?"

The Newfie looks down at this feet, while moving the toe of his left boot clockwise in
the gravel, replies, "Cuz someone took a crap behind it."